Intoxination

NEW RULE: Bill O'Reilly Needs More Tissues

Bill it has been a couple years since your lawsuit over a picture of you on
the cover of Al Franken’s book – Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them was
laughed out of court. Out of everything that was said about you in the book, you
conceited to them and only drew attention to a picture of you on the cover..

Bill O’Reilly has become probably one of the biggest jokes in today’s news
media. He claims to have a fair and balanced look but as anyone who watches his
show would know; if someone starts to disagree with Bill he cuts them off.

In his latest attempt to foil his arch nemesis Al Franken, this past Thursday
Bill saw a chance to poke fun at Al and even take some hits at the New York
Times in the process

Time now for the most ridiculous item of the day. Our pal Stuart Smalley
apparently had a meltdown at a radio function in New York City over the weekend.
Smalley had to be scolded by the event’s host and at one point actually broke
down in tears. Now, this is not our concern except to tell you that the
Washington Post media critic Howard Kurtz was at the event, witnessed the
meltdown and did not mention it in his article today. Failing to report things
of this nature is, of course, and example of BIAS! Well, we called Mr. Kurtz who
denied any bias. You make the call. One other thing. I’ve gotten a lot of
e-mails from people who asked me why I don’t reply to smear merchants like
Smalley and the reason is most of these people are very troubled individuals who
are simply seeking publicity in the worst possible way. It would be ridiculous
to engage those people.

Since you decided to point out what you thought wasn’t reported Bill, let me
go ahead and point a couple of them out for you:

Al was getting booed by some and did go over the time limit. G. Gordon Liddy
stood up for Al and said to let him speak. Not bad coming from a former Nixon
employee!

Now you also talk about all these emails you get Bill, which I find most
interesting. I ask anyone reading this to head on over to Bill O’Reilly’s site
and email him. Just a quick heads up though, if you wish to email Bill, then you
have to be a member of his fan club. Don’t worry it only costs $49.95 a year.
That is the price a person pays to allow Bill O’Reilly to hear their opinion. So
Bill, you can not boast about your emails as these are only people that can
stomach you enough to pay this outrageous fee. I think I will stick with
emailing Al Franken. His membership dues you must pay in order to email him are
much more thrifty. In fact they are FREE!

No the truth is poor old Bill was upset yet again because Al one upped him.
Bill can not handle that harsh reality that some people out there actually
investigate stories and reports on them. In fact, if someone reports on a story
or says something in an interview and Bill agrees with it, if that person is one
Bill’s hit list then he will proceed to edit it and turn it into something it is
not while stealing his opponents idea only to make it his own. An example of
this can be seen at Crooks And Liars where Bill edited an interview with Senator Biden to make it sound like the Senator was calling for the immediate closure of
Guantanimo Bay. The biggest irony here; this was reported by Al.

That’s right; Al is Bill O’Reilly’s kryptonite. The only way that Bill can
attempt to show strength against Al is to try and smear him. Bill has even gone
as far to criticize Al’s possible run for U.S. Senate in 2008. Bill does
not think that a comedian should run for Senate. I guess we should leave comedy
in politics to Laura Bush. The truth is that comedians like Al Franken, Bill
Maher, Robyn Williams, and Whoopi Goldberg base a lot of their comedy on current
issues. In order to make effective jokes that people will understand and laugh
at, they have to keep up on current events. In fact they stay more in touch with
current events than most other people do.

Bill is a constant preacher of what he feels is right and moral in this
country. Let’s applaud the soft-core pornographic novelist, turned sexual
harasser for this effort.

The simple truth is the more Bill O’Reilly rambles on, the more his idiocy
shines through. Fox News is suffering a fall in ratings, and Bill is one of
their higher rated shows. Of course I Believe this is true because people watch
it for a good laugh. It is not that what he says is funny; it’s that his
demeanor is that of a blabbering idiot and America loves to watch people show
their downfalls publicly, especially when that person does not know they are
doing it.

So with all that said, Bill O’Reilly has to realize that Al Franken is a
great talk show host and providing some real competition to the dominated
right-wing radio talk shows. He tries to downplay the success of Air America
Radio by stating that himself and Rush Limbaugh are on five times as many
stations. Don’t forget though how long Bill and Rush have been on the air as
compared to Air America’s lonely year!

So you need to face it Bill, you need Al out there and you need the
Democrats. If everyone was right wing whackos like you then you would be out of
a job!!!

On a side note, I would like to invite you to search the internet for Bill
O’Reilly sites and see how many websites their actually are taking a satire or
comical approach to O’Reilly’s sad views and reporting. You will be amazed!

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