(Sorry this week’s Freaky Friday is a day late. Had a full day yesterday replacing the kitchen floor.)

Our first stop on this week’s Freaky Friday is in Pittsburgh, where a senior citizen has found a new way to supplement his social security:

An 80-year-old man acknowledged Wednesday that he dealt drugs at his house in return for sex with prostitutes. Felix Cocco of Pittsburgh pleaded guilty to charges of possession of a controlled substance, possession with intent to deliver and possession of drug paraphernalia.

Police said Cocco had been dealing drugs for nearly a year when he was arrested in November. Officers seized crack cocaine, a digital scale and packaging materials, police said. Authorities said they caught Cocco dealing again in February.

When an Allegheny County judge asked Cocco why he chose a new profession so late in life, Cocco replied, “I was trying to stay alive, your honor — pay my bills.”

Cocco’s lawyer, Martha Bailor, told the court her client wanted to remain sexually active after his wife died three years ago, and turned to prostitutes.

I guess at 80, the threat of STD’s and aids just isn’t the same

Now heading over to Kansas, we got a very interesting race for the House seat in which the candidates from both parties actually come from the same house:

The candidates say they offer legitimate political differences. Their conservative critics say it’s a campaign dirty trick.

Jeff Ippel is a Republican, involved in a three-way primary race for a seat in the Kansas House. His wife, Pam, is unopposed in the August Democratic primary — for the same seat.

Pam Ippel, whose platform emphasizes health care and funding for education, said she was the first to enter the race for an open seat from this Kansas City suburb.

“The more Jeff thought about it, the more he thought he’d have a better chance,” she said.

“Better ideas,” said her husband, who is running on a platform of smaller government and fewer illegal immigrants.

Other Republicans accuse the Ippels of working as a team.

I wonder is debating is actually foreplay to this couple. I guess you can also consider this the ultimate test for a marriage.

Now zipping on down to Honolulu, where they really believe in the separation of church and state:

Junior Stowers raised his hands and exclaimed, “Thank you, Jesus!” in court last month when he was acquitted by a jury of abusing his son.

But his joy was short-lived when Circuit Judge Patrick Border held him in contempt of court for the “outburst” and threw him in jail.

Stowers, 47, sat in the courtroom and a cellblock for about six hours until the judge granted him a hearing on the contempt charge and released him.

The judge at a July 7 hearing dropped the contempt charge, a petty misdemeanor that carries up to 30 days in jail.

Stowers couldn’t be reached for comment. But his attorney in the contempt case, Deputy Public Defender Susan Arnett, said he wasn’t treated fairly.

“I don’t think there’s anything about saying ‘Thank you, Jesus’ that rises to the level of contemptuous behavior in this case,” she told The Honolulu Advertiser.

If we had more judges like this, then America would be much better off. Show them that Jesus is not welcomed in the public place.

And finally we head back to the mainland and stop in Milwaukee, where a fight breaks out over some gasoline:

Two vehicles crashed and four people were arrested in excitement over a gasoline giveaway Wednesday to reward the city for its safe-driving record.

For the most part, hundreds of drivers waited patiently for hours for about $30 worth of free gasoline each that Allstate Insurance provided at one station.

However, some motorists started lining up before midnight and the queue stretched far from the station into a residential area, trapping some residents in their driveways, said police spokeswoman Anne E. Schwartz.

That led to fights and arrests for disorderly conduct. In one case, three officers were sent to a hospital as a precaution because they were spattered with blood from someone’s bloodied nose, Schwartz said.

The two crashes apparently occurred when queued-up motorists tried to let friends into line, Schwartz said.

“Any time you offer free gas when it is $3 a gallon, it is not surprising people would get excited,” she said.

Allstate gave away a tanker truck load of gasoline as a reward to Milwaukee for ranking No. 1 among mid-sized cities on its safe drivers list.

Two crashes over this? Guess Milwaukee will be dropping from No. 1 on that safe drivers list. I also guess Allstate didn’t plan on all these “hidden” expenses that have occurred now over their little promotion.

As always – it was another strange week in the world. We need some humorous news like this considering everything else happening right now.