After some hard computer snooping, I have uncovered a citizenship test completed by George W. Bush. Apparently he wanted to try the waters and see how hard it was for illegal immigrants to become U.S. citizens. The answers are interesting. The results appear below the fold.

1. What are the colors of our flag? Republican, White and Blue
2. How many stars are there on our flag? 51
3. What color are the stars on our flag? White with black streaks from my sharpie
4. What do the stars on the flag mean? Purdy
5. How many stripes are there on the flag? 19
6. What color are the stripes? Republican and white
7. What do the stripes on the flag mean? That white people are Republicans
8. How many states are there in the Union? They told me 50 but there is really only 30
9. Why do we celebrate the Fourth of July? To show the terrorists why they hate us.
10. What is the date of Independence day? 9/11
11. Independence from whom? Those who wish to do us harm
12. What country did we fight during the Revolutionary War? Afghanistan
13. Who was the first President? Daddy’s friend Ron.
14. Who is president today? Thats me
15. Who is vice president today? Dick but I would like Condi to get the job
16. Who elects the president of the United States? The Supreme Court
17. Who becomes our president if the president should die? This information is classified and would help the terrorists out.
18. For how long do we elect the president? As long as I want.
19. What is the Constitution? A headache
20. Can the Constitution be changed? Of course
21. What do we call a change to the Constitution? Executive power
22. How many changes or amendments are there to the Constitution? None worth worrying about.
23. How many branches are there in our government? Three only if I choose to listen to them
24. What are the three branches of our government? Me, puppets and activist judges
25. What is the legislative branch of our government? The people who do what I want
26. Who makes federal laws? Me
27. What is Congress? The place that gives me money
28. What are the duties of Congress? see above
29. Who elects Congress? Diebold
30. How many senators are there in Congress? 55. There are some Democrats that crash the party. We call them party crasherers
31. Can you name the senators from your state? D.C. don’t have Senators silly.
32. For how long do we elect each senator? Republicans for life, Democrats for only a couple of years.
33. How many voting members are in the House of Representatives? Two – Dennis Hastert and John Boehner
34. For how long do we elect the representatives? Same as senators
35. What is the Executive branch of our government? thats me
36. What is the Judiciary branch of our government? The activist judges who wish to do us harm
37. What are the duties of the Supreme Court? To make me President
38. What is the supreme law of the United States? Commander in Chief
39. What is the Bill of Rights? Another liberal headache
40. What is the capital of your state? D.C. don’t have capitals silly
41. Who is the governor of your state? D.C. don’t have governors silly
42. Who becomes president if both the president and the vice president die? Classified information meant to help those who wants to do us harm
43. Who is chief justice of the Supreme Court? Johnny
44. Can you name the 13 original states? Texas, Florida, Utah, Iowa, Oklahoma, Arizona, Wyoming, Alabama, Nebraska, North Dakota, Georgia, Louisianna, Mississippi
45. Who said, “Give me liberty or give me death”? Some damn liberal.
46. Which countries were our allies during World War II? My friend Junichiro Koizumi’s country
47. What is the 49th state added to our Union? Did those activist judges add more states?
48. How many full terms can a president serve? 2 but I will be changing that soon.
49. Who was Martin Luther King Jr.? That liberal whose wife’s funeral embarassed me.
50. Who is the head of your local government? Me
51. According to the Constitution, a person must meet certain requirements in order to be eligible to become president. name one. Be a Christian
52. Why are there 100 senators in the U.S. Senate? So Dick can break ties
53. Who nominates judges of the Supreme Court? Me
54. How many Supreme Court justices are there? Only 5 that I worry about
55. Why did the Pilgrims come to America? A long time ago
56. What is the head executive of a state government called? Guvornar
57. What is the head executive of a city government called? Nagin
58. What holiday was celebrated for the first time by the American colonists? 4th of July
59. Who was the main writer of the Declaration of Independence? Sam Adams
60. When was the Declaration of Independence adopted? 1774
61. What is the basic belief of the Declaration of Independence? That we are a Chrisitan Nation.
62. What is our national anthem? I’m proud to be an American
63. Who wrote “The Star-Spangled Banner?” Motorola when they made my ring tone
64. Where does freedom of speech come from? Activist judges
65. What is the minimum voting age? It depends on your race and party.
66. Who signs bills into law? Me.
67. What is the highest court in the United States? God
68. Who was president during the Civil War? Washington
69. What did the Emancipation Proclamation do? Hurt the economy of the Southern States.
70. What special group advises the president? God and Jesus
71. Which president is called the “Father of Our Country”? Me
72. What is the 50th state of the Union? Iraq
73. Who helped the Pilgrims in America? God
74. What is the name of the ship that brought the Pilgrims to America? The Ark
75. What were the 13 original states of the United States called? Red states
76. Name three rights or freedoms guaranteed by the Bill of Rights. Freedom is a word that can interfere with my duty as commander in chief to protect our nation from those who wish to harm us meaning there are no freedoms.
77. Who has the power to declare war? Me
78. Name one amendment that guarantees or addresses voting rights. Diebold
79. Which president freed the slaves? Me. I freed them from their tyrant leader Saddam
80. In what year was the Constitution written? 1920
81. What are the first 10 amendments to the Constitution called? A headache
82. Name one purpose of the United Nations. Tourist attraction for liberals.
83. Where does Congress meet? The RNC headquarters
84. Whose rights are guaranteed by the Constitution and the Bill of Rights? Mine.
85. What is the introduction to the Constitution called? The start
86. Name one benefit of being a citizen of the United States. Having me as a leader
87. What is the most important right granted to U.S. citizens? To worship Jesus
88. What is the United States Capitol? My house
89. What is the White House? Where I live
90. Where is the White House located? All around me
91. What is the president’s official home? Crawford Ranch
92. Name one right guaranteed by the First amendment. None – see my signing statement
93. Who is the Commander in Chief of the U.S. Army and Navy? Me
94. Which president was the first commander in chief of the U.S. Army and Navy? Lincoln
95. In what month do we vote for president? November or December if the Supreme Court wants to vote
96. In what month is the new president inaugurated? December
97. How many times may a senator be re-elected? As many as he wants so long as he is a Republican
98. How many times may a congressman be re-elected? See above
99. What are the two major political parties in the United States today? Republicans and those that are with the terrorists
100. How many states are there? 30. Blue places don’t count.

Gee I wonder what his final score is.